Offended! A Tumblr Musical

My mother died during a musical, you insensitive fuck. 

that’s it that’s the opening number

(via lolsomeone-actually)

1 week ago | 259,628 notes


The first time your heart was torn from your chest,
You thought you were dying.
You knew you could not live with the empty space.
So you replaced your heart with metaphors
And set out to create a world where the metaphor was unbreakable.

Now look what you’ve done—
You can’t breathe so you write.
You can’t hurt so you drink rum and pour our pirate chanties.
You can’t want revenge so you leave.


When I see you I have two thoughts:
You are the reason The Smith’s wrote songs,
And my god, you are beautiful.

You are so beautiful
Blinking stars go blind.

But I can see this is going to get ugly.
The metaphors don’t make you feel whole anymore.
You sell out your deepest insecurities for a handful of laughs.
This life has you wound so tight you make grandfather clocks look relaxed.
You hold your body like banks hold money—all locked up.
Your shoulders are glass rocks waiting for the next attack.

But you’ve got it all wrong.

You don’t survive history.
History survives you.

There is no breakthrough without breakdown.


If you’re going to break, shatter.
No explanations.
No limp-legged dog excuses.
No messing with this bullet proof vest fury
So popular with the cops and the presidents.

You’ve got to break like Texas.
You’ve got to take the pain from the safety valve of your heart
And return it to your fists.
Fight your better judgment ‘till you’re sinister again,
‘till your body remembers what it already knows how to do—
bend back
and manifest grief.
Scream torches ‘till you embarrass the enlightened.

Please. No more polite conversations with your death wish.
Give it something useful to do.
Change your life.

Cause I can’t stand to see you like this.
So blue, my eyes turn green in your presence.
Listen—you are so beautiful,
Grass pushes through sidewalk cracks just to kiss your feet.


Maybe no one ever told you,
But the heart IS a metaphor.
Yours is growing so strong
You’ll have your rhythm back any day now—

Loving like rumours spread.
Dreaming like lunatic spacemen jump from their suits.
Living like you never forgot how.

Mindy Nettifee, “The First Time” (via kushandwizdom)

(via kushandwizdom)

1 week ago | 2,247 notes


could you please put your crying kid on vibrate

(Source: dutchster, via braydaaan)

1 week ago | 397,624 notes
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
A. Sachs (via paintdeath)

(Source: observando, via itstoo1975)

1 week ago | 8,992 notes


did i allow u to have fun without me

(via tatteredghost)

1 week ago | 667,316 notes


What if a pregnancy test just said:

(via braydaaan)

1 week ago | 248,559 notes


let’s be real here if icarly were an actual webshow they would get bullied so badly

(via relahvant)

1 week ago | 418,750 notes


*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

(Source: meladoodle, via orgasm)

1 week ago | 478,058 notes



can someone from the science side of tumblr explain this


covalent bonds

(via encourage)

1 week ago | 215,495 notes


"id date a fan" doesnt mean "id date a 12 year old who knows more about me than i do"

(Source: samuel-matthew-halliday, via tatteredghost)

1 week ago | 367,867 notes